Wednesday, 18 June 2014

Carers Return To Work! Yes you, go on, go ...

Well Mr Abbott, this, is a wonderful idea. I'd love to be able to accrue Superannuation, paid holidays, have a lunch break, be eligible for sick leave knowing all along, there is the back up support for my child so that I can return to the work force at the employable age of 51.

(Note: When I Googled "Employed Older Women" to find an image to insert here, I got Liza Minnelli and Julie Bishop and lots of graphs), says it all really!

There was no shortage of beautiful images when I Googled "Employed Women" however.

I could not think of an option more appealing than to be able to be a valued part of society again by way of a well paid work placement! Because we all know, the only person who values a Carer is the person being cared for. Mind you, when that person is your son, sometimes, they don't even appreciate it.

To be able to first and foremost, get a job with the lack of qualifications I have after 11 years at home with my child, (despite my requests over the years for hands-on support so I could stay up-to-date with training or work experience but was denied those opportunities by various Governments, due to the comparative cost), would be a bonus!

To be employed with inclusive work practises, seems like a dream come true, which will allow for the many days or part days I will need to be at home with my sick, disabled child or to attend Physio, Speech, OT, Cardiologist, Paediatric, Paediatric Ophthalmologist, Podiatry, Specialist Dental, Cleft Palate all day Clinics, Pathology, Minor procedures, Disability Parenting Training Days, Sensory Training Days and all the other unforeseen days that will require me leaving work in response to an emergency that nobody else can attend to in relation to my child, who by the way is seen to only have Moderate care needs, this list would be ten times longer for many Carer/Loved one relationships where care levels involve medical procedures. I'm assuming, eventually, the NDIS will cover the cost of all this though … 

Not to mention the Mental Health Days I'm betting I'll need as I adjust back into the work force working 18 hours, 7 days a week, being that I am an unsupported Single Parent Carer. Not only will the pressure of working those hours moving forward take it's toll, keep in mind I have previously been isolated because of my Full Time Carer role, and I can assure you, it has already done my head in.

So, Mr Abbott, explain to me again, how exactly is this going to work without compromising the health and well being of myself, my child and the underpinning structures it has taken me the best part of 11 years of begging, negotiating and manipulating to put in place to support our ever changing sets of circumstance?

Or is this just more of the heavy lifting you obviously feel us Carers have not been doing?

Saturday, 14 June 2014

When Friendships End

They say we learn to socialise as children, that all that rough and tumble, the 'dobbing' on each other, the push and shove, the winning and losing, the raw honesty "I'm not your friend anymore", "I hate you!" puts us in good stead for adult relationships, so we know how to have friendships when we 'grow up'.

There are two points there, we really need to know when the 'growing up' part happens and who is ever ready for adult friendships?

I watch the shows on TV (soap operas, sitcoms etc) and I see all this honesty, the perfectly scripted dialogue the resolutions and the tender parting of ways and I wonder …. WHAT THE FUCK!

That's not how it is, that is never how I have experienced it.

I think my life is back to front or upside down or buggered if I know …

The people I fought and played with when I was little, are still my friends. The person I came together with over a common cause, like standing up to a bully, she is still my friend, the person I shared some real moments with like when I got engaged and her marriage ended, (so did mine eventually), we are still in touch, the friend I met through our boyfriends and we decided we enjoyed each others company better than the boyfriends, she is still my dear friend, the friend I made by sheer coincidence and we now don't see enough of each other. These are all my friends.

So what *is* it that ends friendships.

For me, I believe it has been bad communication, because I have friendships that have ended, and I still don't understand why, or maybe even the other way around, maybe they were left reeling, but I was hurt, and that is often hard to say to a person's face.

Or we just change, our interests change, our life directions change and we start to have less in common, less to keep us together.

Everyone's experience is different, because, as I mentioned before, we are groomed for this as children.

Just writing this post though, I've noticed a common thread that weaves it's way through the friendships I still have … They have substance.

My friends are real, true and honest.

So, how do you end friendships? Do you even make that choice or do they just slip away? Or do you try hard, when you see them changing, to hold on?

What is your soap opera of life as far as friendships go? I truly am interested to know!