I'll love my baby no matter what ...

Please Note: I have used pronouns here in places that may seem grammatically incorrect, but are respectful of the person I am referring to around their gender. I may not have the language perfect or completely correct, but I am trying. I apologise to any grammar police out there as I do appreciate it may make you squirm, but a heads up, you may just have to get used to it.

E.g. She, He or They Here is a link for further information

As young parents blessed with a new arrival, we hope that our babies will only experience good health and happiness in life, we hope they will not have to endure never learning to sleep through the night. Even if that is actually the least of their concerns, but a huge concern for us.

We visualise well into their futures imagining them on many a pedestal accepting many an award. We ALWAYS imagine them with smiles on their faces, because, lets face it, when it really comes down to tin tacks, that is all that we do really want for our kids, is that they are happy.

I've never worried about what my kids will do for work, I've only ever said that if they can find what they love and make that their jobs, they will always be happy in their work.

I've also tried to teach them self worth and to know that nobody has the right to not value them for who they are, if you come across those people in life, walk away.

I've only ever focused on the life lessons that I knew about, the ones I myself had experienced and the ones I felt qualified enough to talk about.

After all, we don't really think about all the other millions of things that have not touched our lives in some way … until they do.

Now some background information … *fade to playground at Local Primary School circa 1972* ….

When I was in Primary School I had a best friend, his name for the sake of this story, was Nick. Nick and I used to hang out all the time.  I liked doing boy things and he liked hanging with us girls. Not that we ever made any assumptions about that, we were all just mates, sexuality, at that time, an unknown entity.

When we went to High School and we started to meet other kids from other schools, Nick found a group of other kids that he seemed to feel more comfortable with and although we all said hello from time to time, we saw less of each other. I missed his conversations and his laughter.

Me, being Queen of Naive, found out much later that Nick was gay, and I think a part of me loved him even more for just being himself.

I went on to work in travel where I met a lovely man named, for the sake of this story, Nick 2, him and I used to have lunch together and talk about all sorts of things, mainly his travels and the ones I was looking forward to having. When I left that job I missed his sense of adventure and vision.

I later worked in a bank where I met and befriended Nick 3, we used to go out picking up men together at piano bars and the likes. Nick 3 was much more refined than me … and I missed that and his intellect and cheeky grin when we parted ways.

I loved those Nicks, not because they were gay, but because they were fun, interesting, intelligent, caring and they were all good friends of mine, who lifted me up with their own sense of value and self worth, because each of them were complete individuals and comfortable in their own skin.

So when I realised my son did not seem happy and did not seem as comfortable in his own skin as the memories I had of my friends from years gone by, I couldn't figure it out.

Much time has passed since MJ first came out to me, we have had many things happen in that time, MJ has transitioned through friendships and found a group where he feels safe and comfortable, he is intelligent and has a vision for his future and he wants to travel and one day have special relationships such as the ones we all hope for.

Recently I learnt something very important about one of the things that have not been a part of my life and as far as I know, a thing that I had not experienced. That, is the concept of Genderqueer. I didn't realise that while sexuality is a very individual thing, so is gender.

Genderqueer - Beyond the Binaries

And now, now that I know that and they has found the courage to be themself, things are going to get better. They can now plan a life that will meet their needs, that will be the life they sees for themself (I still hope that involves lots of pedestals and accolades because they deserves them), and while, when this wonderful young person was born I could never have imagined this life for them, I still want them to have whatever it is that makes them happy. Because I'll love my baby no matter what.


If you or anyone you know would like more information on the subject of Genderqueer please contact Genderqueer Australia on 03 8640 9796 or via This Link Or The Gender Centre in Sydney 02 9569 2366

Should you require urgent assistance, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14

I want to live in a world where the words male and female are flexible and subjective, even redundant. A world of perpetual transformation, where sexuality and gender become obsolete as people begin to question why they should be the same person, day in, day out. A world where the overriding ethos is to question and explore your sexuality and gender without the restrictions prevalent in 'normal' society. Questioning what is masculine and what is feminine is about redrawing the boundaries (or removing them altogether) surrounding activities that are seen as inherently male or female. I long for a world where the old oppositions of male/female, masculine/feminine, heterosexual/homosexual have dissolved. I want to live in a world where I am free to be whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be, male, female, other or neither -  I have been advised this piece should be attributed to a young Trans person named Silver Taylor

R U OK? and Social Media?

Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Suicidal Ideology, Self Harm, Depression, Anxiety.

For those of you who may not already know, I am studying Community Service Work Certificate IV.

The reason I am mentioning this is because of a particular subject we are covering just now, which has become even more relevant to my own personal experience with the up coming event of 'R U OK? Day' looming.

I often ask the question "Does R U OK? Day have a place on Social Media?” my answer is no. But that is just my opinion, the opinion of a person who does not feel connected, I am sure there are other opinions based on your own perspective/s. This post is not actually about inviting a discussion of our opinions however.

I've always said I don't want all my friends sending me a message on Facebook all on the one day of the year just because the media tell them it's the day to do it, particularly if they are not available to engage in your response when you post your reply later.

In my opinion, if you are doing this, then you have actually missed the point of the day.

People who are 'not OK' know it … you generally don't have to ask to get them to make a decision on that or to evoke thought on the subject, they think about it a lot. What they do need is a conversation or connectedness. So here are some points I have copied from the R U OK? Website in an attempt to help people understand truly, the seriousness and necessity of such a day.

Lesson Number 1:

R U OK? Day is about Suicide Prevention!

"R U OK? is a not-for-profit organisation founded by Gavin Larkin in 2009, whose vision is a world where we’re all connected and are protected from suicide. Accordingly, our mission is to encourage and equip everyone to regularly and meaningfully ask “are you ok?”

Lesson Number 2:

WHY?

"We know that suicide prevention is an enormously complex and sensitive challenge the world over. But we also know that some of the world’s smartest people have been working tirelessly and developed credible theories that suggest there’s power in that simplest of questions - “Are you ok?”"

"One of the most significant theories is by United States academic, Dr Thomas Joiner. Because his father took his own life, Thomas has dedicated his research to try and answer that question “why?”"


"His theory tries to answer that complex question by describing three forces at play in someone at risk. The first force is the person thinks they’re a burden on others; the second is that they can withstand a high degree of pain; and the third is they don’t feel connected to others."

Lesson Number 3:

WHAT TO DO?

"It's this lack of connection (or lack of belonging) that we want to prevent. By inspiring people to take the time to ask "are you ok?" and listen, we can help people struggling with life feel connected long before they even think about suicide. It all comes down to regular, face-to-face, meaningful conversations about life. And asking “are you ok?” is a great place to start."

My point is this, if you are not prepared to hear the answer and to truly listen to that person respond, get prepared! If you are sincere in your question, take the time to read THIS INFORMATION and learn, how to contribute meaningfully to the conversation.

If you are feeling suicidal or experiencing suicidal ideology please contact a 24 hour counselling support service in your area. In Australia there is Lifeline: 13 11 14.

If you cannot find a link or phone number phone '000' in Australia, '911' in USA and here is a link to numbers for other countries.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” 

John Joseph Powell

The Tipping Point

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Suicide, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Mental Health issues of any kind.

If you performed a search on this blog under the heading #Depression, you would find about 9 posts.

I cannot off the top of my head tell you what exactly they are about, but given this blog name is "My Happy Endings", I would hope they all end with a positive slant, some may not however.

I have been travelling a road, and still do, of Depression. I do feel though that I have found a new direction of late and I am hopeful that I have found my tipping point, a point at which I will be less likely to go backwards again.

Today, as is always the case when a high profile person is admitted for Mental Health support or a successful suicide takes place and is all over the news, Twitter, Facebook, I am feeling the pain of my Depression.

I feel the pain of that person and I think of all the 'what ifs' as we process that such a worthy life is now over, never to be renewed.  I think of the pain of that family and all the friends who will never, ever again, be able to hold that person, to be able to speak to them, to be able to have that one last moment.

Once upon a time, all this exposure to another persons pain and torment would have triggered me, and by that I mean, would have sent me straight back to my darkest place, would have made me contemplate the other 'what ifs', would have sent me backwards on my road to recovery. Now, my heart simply breaks.

I have travelled a long and dark road, as do many people day in day out. Some never find a fork in the road, some never find the hill on the road that lifts them to the place where they can see a different perspective, some never meet the people on the road that will make a difference in their life's journey, some, simply find that black dark hole and don't know how to climb out of it.

Some people imagine that they would be doing other people a favour if they were no longer around, some people have so much pain from life's pressures that all they want is for that pain to stop and some people are so lost in a cycle of instability they believe thinking straight may never again be an option.

The one thing I know is that those who are left, in an attempt to understand, start analysing, assuming, looking for the answer as to why, why did such a person take their own life, why did our person?

Sadly, this information will do nobody any good …

If you know a person who struggles with Depression, Anxiety, PTSD or any Mental Health issue, talk to them now, find out what it is that keeps them here now, THAT is helpful information, THAT is what may make the difference, the other thing that may make a difference is taking a walk with them on that road of life, try to be there, THAT may help. Keep them here and engaged with those things that keep them holding on to life, the things that keep them engaged with life, with people, with their better perspective.

I write this from my perspective alone, everyone has their own road to travel, every story is different and every person deals with their life's struggles in the way they see fit.  But we must ask, we cannot know, unless we ask. Talk, converse, engage with your person.


If you or anyone you know is in need of support please contact:

Australia - Lifeline 13 11 14

USA call toll-free 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

This is a link to other numbers internationally
International Association for Suicide Prevention

OR PHONE A FRIEND!

SERIOUSLY, JUST DO THAT!

Rest In Peace you gentle man ...

When I Write

To start this post I probably need to briefly explain why I write … I did write a post about it once before if you wanted to read that, (it was a good post), but the shorter version is that I need to express myself, I need to speak out or clear my mind at times of all that clutters it, sometimes I need to clear my heart.

Since I don't always have people on tap to chat to, I write.

I write when I have something to say (need a rant), I write when I am feeling sad (need to be a crybaby), I write when I am feeling happy (need to gloat) and sometimes, I write because I'm bored. There are other reasons too, for example, every April I blog every day in gratitude.

However, getting back to it, I didn't realise until last week how much I do actually write.

Source

I know, you are saying, "But she doesn't even blog every day!", and I don't, but I do find myself writing my random thoughts down by whatever means I have handy.  I find pieces of paper floating around the house with impulsive scribblings on them, I find notes in my phone that I have written while I've been out and had an epiphany, the thing that surprised me the most though was only a few days ago, when I decided to clear through some of my electronic documents and trash what I was done with, I stumbled upon a document I had written only two months ago … The thing that dumbfounded me was not that it was there, but that I could only vaguely remember writing it.

That seemed very odd because I had written it at a time of obvious emotion and it was a whole page of emotion laid out in black and white.  One thinks we will remember these things.  It seems our minds are much more self protective than we think, not allowing us to remember things that may hurt us or, may no longer be of use once put out there. Who really knows?

This makes a lot of sense though.

So, that really does bring me back to why I am writing today.

I found this note on my phone, it was written 25th October 2012. That was the year I moved my little family from a place of complete familiarity to an area none of us knew.  To a place where we knew nobody.  I was trying my best to make connections, to meet new friends, to form new networks and this is what I wrote …

Don't lie to me or mislead me in an attempt to be kind. You won't make me upset by telling me you don't want to have coffee with me or start a new friendship because you have a busy life already, or you are suffering depression and don't want to socialise, or you can't fit any other people or relationships into your life, or you simply believe we have nothing to offer each other. I am not going to judge your reasons, I will respect them. Do respect me enough to be honest. When you lie to me once, u will need to keep doing that, and when I find out, I will judge you, I will also judge myself. Let's just be honest and not waste each others time or judge each other. Let's respect each other.

I do remember writing this, but I was still surprised I had kept it on my phone, so, I thought I would share it.

There is a good message there for us all …

Let's respect each other.

Carers Return To Work! Yes you, go on, go ...

Well Mr Abbott, this, is a wonderful idea. I'd love to be able to accrue Superannuation, paid holidays, have a lunch break, be eligible for sick leave knowing all along, there is the back up support for my child so that I can return to the work force at the employable age of 51.

(Note: When I Googled "Employed Older Women" to find an image to insert here, I got Liza Minnelli and Julie Bishop and lots of graphs), says it all really!

There was no shortage of beautiful images when I Googled "Employed Women" however.

Gratuitous "Pretty Flowers" image

I could not think of an option more appealing than to be able to be a valued part of society again by way of a well paid work placement! Because we all know, the only person who values a Carer is the person being cared for. Mind you, when that person is your son, sometimes, they don't even appreciate it.

To be able to first and foremost, get a job with the lack of qualifications I have after 11 years at home with my child, (despite my requests over the years for hands-on support so I could stay up-to-date with training or work experience but was denied those opportunities by various Governments, due to the comparative cost), would be a bonus!

To be employed with inclusive work practises, seems like a dream come true, which will allow for the many days or part days I will need to be at home with my sick, disabled child or to attend Physio, Speech, OT, Cardiologist, Paediatric, Paediatric Ophthalmologist, Podiatry, Specialist Dental, Cleft Palate all day Clinics, Pathology, Minor procedures, Disability Parenting Training Days, Sensory Training Days and all the other unforeseen days that will require me leaving work in response to an emergency that nobody else can attend to in relation to my child, who by the way is seen to only have Moderate care needs, this list would be ten times longer for many Carer/Loved one relationships where care levels involve medical procedures. I'm assuming, eventually, the NDIS will cover the cost of all this though … 

Not to mention the Mental Health Days I'm betting I'll need as I adjust back into the work force working 18 hours, 7 days a week, being that I am an unsupported Single Parent Carer. Not only will the pressure of working those hours moving forward take it's toll, keep in mind I have previously been isolated because of my Full Time Carer role, and I can assure you, it has already done my head in.

So, Mr Abbott, explain to me again, how exactly is this going to work without compromising the health and well being of myself, my child and the underpinning structures it has taken me the best part of 11 years of begging, negotiating and manipulating to put in place to support our ever changing sets of circumstance?

Or is this just more of the heavy lifting you obviously feel us Carers have not been doing?

When Friendships End

They say we learn to socialise as children, that all that rough and tumble, the 'dobbing' on each other, the push and shove, the winning and losing, the raw honesty "I'm not your friend anymore", "I hate you!" puts us in good stead for adult relationships, so we know how to have friendships when we 'grow up'.

There are two points there, we really need to know when the 'growing up' part happens and who is ever ready for adult friendships?

I watch the shows on TV (soap operas, sitcoms etc) and I see all this honesty, the perfectly scripted dialogue the resolutions and the tender parting of ways and I wonder …. WHAT THE FUCK!

That's not how it is, that is never how I have experienced it.

I think my life is back to front or upside down or buggered if I know …

The people I fought and played with when I was little, are still my friends. The person I came together with over a common cause, like standing up to a bully, she is still my friend, the person I shared some real moments with like when I got engaged and her marriage ended, (so did mine eventually), we are still in touch, the friend I met through our boyfriends and we decided we enjoyed each others company better than the boyfriends, she is still my dear friend, the friend I made by sheer coincidence and we now don't see enough of each other. These are all my friends.

So what *is* it that ends friendships.

For me, I believe it has been bad communication, because I have friendships that have ended, and I still don't understand why, or maybe even the other way around, maybe they were left reeling, but I was hurt, and that is often hard to say to a person's face.

Or we just change, our interests change, our life directions change and we start to have less in common, less to keep us together.

Everyone's experience is different, because, as I mentioned before, we are groomed for this as children.

Just writing this post though, I've noticed a common thread that weaves it's way through the friendships I still have … They have substance.

My friends are real, true and honest.

So, how do you end friendships? Do you even make that choice or do they just slip away? Or do you try hard, when you see them changing, to hold on?

What is your soap opera of life as far as friendships go? I truly am interested to know!

I'm still not convinced

As I sit here watching my Twitter feed scroll at a respectable pace with hashtags such as #MarchInMay #MorePopularThanAbbott #auspol #ICAC #Budget2014 #BudgetReply #Newspoll #BustTheBudget #DD it concerns me that twitter also scrolled with fervour the week leading up to the September 2013 election.  Here's a couple of tonights fun ones.

It seemed people had Mr Abbott pegged then too.  I was in a state of shock when I woke on the morning after the election to discover he was our new PM.

Why did it take a Budget release to show the people of Australia the truth.  Why are so many of the country such bad judges of character?

How do people like Tony Abbott and Joe Hockey fly under the radar?

Why are people like these in the stories below, forgotten? Read their stories and see if you think it's fair.

Disability Support Pension Recipients

Single Parents of Disabled Children and their siblings

Single Parents doing it alone

And anyone else impacted by these broken promises

Is it the Mainstream Media exposure? Is it that Australians all hope one day to be wealthy and pin their hopes on the rich to lead the way? Are we truly that gullible?

Whatever it is, if we get the chance to go to the polls again, I hope we get it right this time! Use your votes wisely Australia.

Humanity Continued

I started writing this post in December 2013, I wanted to really get my point across, but I couldn't quite find the words. Ironically, I think I now have them. The irony being the state of our own country's Public Housing. The federal budget that was recently released really challenges the question of "Where is the Humanity?" Add to this post the new wave of Homeless Youth we will now see if they are required to wait 6 months for an income even in extreme circumstances. Think of the burden to charities … just think about all this ...

I wrote this post about humanity, because I had read a news article that proved to motivate me to write.  However, I did not quite make the point I was going for in that post as I had also found this great piece on the evolution of human empathy. 

So, in an attempt to stay on track today, HERE is the article that made me want to write about Humanity, well, at least the lack of it. Mind you, this point may still take some time to make, so bear with me.

The article is a story of a young couple who have moved to "the city" (Wollongong) from Forbes, to try to find work and accommodation. They were staying with a relative, on the couch. Due to unforeseen circumstances, they are now in temporary accommodation while they look for a rental property they can afford.

Youth Homelessness Matters Day

Again, it is not this actual story that made me think about humanity, well, except for the part where the young lady talks about feeling judged because of her homeless status, no, it was the comments that appeared after the story, written by people who had read the story and had made judgements about this young lady, based on 650 words and 1 photo.

There were superficial judgements based on the fact the young lady has a couple of tattoos, they judged her because of her age, they brought into question her family assuming they were negligent, and it went on. Self professed Landlords citing they would not allow anyone with tattoos to rent one of their properties. Thankfully there were a few clear thinking people who left retaliatory comments in defence of the young lady, and people with tattoos.

Would you rent your house to this man?

I have to disclose right here that I have a personal interest in matters of housing and  homelessness. As some of you may know, I too have had a few problems securing long term accommodation for myself and my two sons due to the specific needs around LJ's safety and security associated with his disability.

It is because of my experience and this story about a young couple just trying to get a start in life, not to mention all the other stories I have heard as a bi product of my own journey, that has lead me to feel the need to explain a few things about the world of rental accommodation and social housing to the many who have not had the opportunity to live in that world and experience it first hand.

PUBLIC HOUSING FACTS:
Public Housing and Community Housing Organisations only have so many properties available to rent to their clients. (Which is why the waiting lists are currently so long, they have none available.)
They rely on "natural attrition" for properties to become available.
In NSW, Housing NSW are selling properties that are in prime locations back to the public and not reinvesting that money back into replacement accommodations for their client waiting list, reducing the accommodations available while the number of clients increases.
People on those waiting lists are forced back into the private rental market to compete for properties.

Many people in the general population have never rented a property in their lives having lived at home and saved until they married and bought a home of their own. Some people's experience of renting may only extend to when they went on holiday. Some people may have rented for a short period of time while they saved for a deposit for their own home. Some people choose to rent and not to buy, often being able to find a rental property and be lucky enough to stay for many years in the one place. There are many scenarios here. And I will not take away from these people that have been conscientious and worked very hard to attain their goals.

The one thing all these people have in common, is they obviously all have some sort of consistent income. Now, I am not saying they are privileged or have any better opportunity than others, some would say, this is how most people live.

Well, that is not quite right.

Impacting factors that might not allow other people to make these same choices or have a stable income are their level of education, hence their inability to earn a reasonable wage, or find job security, they may have come from families who are already in crisis because of Domestic Violence, Gambling Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, Mental Health Diagnosis, Disability, Cultural Diversity and Language barriers etc etc, therefore, have no support, no back up, they are on their own, or having to care for other family members, often from a very early age.

Sometimes, bad things simply do happen to good people.

Robin McGraw

During the time I have been in what they call "Housing Stress", I have had the opportunity to meet some really inspirational people, none so inspiring as a lady I met because she was volunteering at a charity that had helped her and her family when they were homeless. Mind you, that is a very common response from those who are truly trying to get back on their feet, to give back.

She and her husband had both worked very hard, neither of them were huge income earners, but they had a home and a mortgage, 2 cars and kids and were happy. After three kids, they decided to go for another, and were blessed with twins. They knew then they had completed their family and were content.  I'm not sure exactly when, but sadly, tragedy struck and one of their beautiful twins passed away as a result of cot death.

This loss tore their lives apart. Neither of them were able to recover from their grief.  The Mum had previously given up her job because she needed to look after 5 kids and so Dad was the only wage earner left.  He fell into a deep state of depression and despite their best efforts, he was finally unable to work.  They slowly started to sell what they could to keep on top of things, but eventually, they had nothing else to sell and had to sell their home. Because they had already been struggling to keep it, there was nothing left over once the sale went through and the debt was paid. They were now homeless with 4 children to care for.

They did spend one night in their car, but thankfully were assisted with Emergency accommodation from an organisation which deals in helping families.

That organisation helped them both to seek the medical care they needed and they allowed themselves time to process their grief and slowly, and very carefully, started to seek support in other areas.  They had been too embarrassed to ask for assistance prior to this, and too proud.

Now, they are public housing clients and are getting back on their feet, they believe they will own their own home again one day, all they needed was a little help to get them back on track.

Or as I like to say, and hand up, not a hand out.

Unfortunately, when you mention "Homelessness" to most people, the image they get is usually something like this fairly famous image …

Homelessness as most people understand it

Homeless people don't always live on the streets, they are not always carting their belongings with them, they are not necessarily drug or alcohol addicted, they often have access to showers at a friend's house, at local beaches or school or gyms etc, maybe even work, yes, some homeless people have jobs! They eat because they access charity organisations, they may "rough sleep" (on the streets) some nights and be lucky enough to find an hostel or refuge other nights, they may have friends they can stay with occasionally, usually on a lounge or floor, and, in this day and age, they may even have a mobile phone.

You may say WHY??? Why when you are homeless do you need a mobile phone??? Why would you not is more the question?

How else can you stay in touch with Real Estate Agents, Housing Departments, Centrelink, Charities, Health Services, have access to information about bus and train timetables, keep in touch with Lifeline, make applications for rental properties etc etc.  In this day of technology, where to even be considered to inspect a rental property, some agents require you to "register on line".

The one thing I do know for sure ... The majority of people who are homeless, do NOT choose to be and are trying very hard to find stable accommodation for themselves and often their family.

And herein lies the problem of Humanity that I am writing about.

If you are really in a situation where you are completely unable to afford a rental property in the public market and find yourself having to apply to become a Public Housing Client, the first thing you have to do, is front up to the Office of the Public Housing organisation in your relevant state and start by jumping through hoops.

The situation of Homelessness is so bad in Australia, that even the Public Housing Organisations are not accepting applications from just anyone, you need to prove your case, you must show evidence of need or that you have made a concerted and legitimate attempt at searching for and trying to secure properties independently before they will even consider offering you assistance. You also need to have some sort of income. It is NOT FREE HOUSING. I know some people believe it is.

I believe if you are living with ongoing or severe Mental Illness, or are Disabled or if you are escaping a situation of Domestic Violence things are a bit different.

If you are simply applying because you are starting to feel the pinch and your situation is not critical, you can look forward to going on the end of the, 15 - 20 year long waiting list for Public Housing.

If your situation is extreme, you can apply for Priority Public Housing, that will reduce your waiting list to 2 - 5 years!

If your situation is critical and you are accepted as a Public Housing client, you can still wait 15 years for Public Housing, but they can then offer you other services such as subsidised rental assistance if you have extenuating circumstances such as mental health, disability etc.

So you can now go out into the Private Rental Market and apply for properties.  Mind you, you will be competing against everyone else. People who have two incomes (because there are two parents in the family), people who can offer to pay more rent on a property to secure it (not sure if this is illegal, but it happens), people who may offer 6 months rent in advance to secure a property and finally, and most relevant, people who are NOT Public Housing Clients.

Public Housing Clients are 50% less likely to secure a property they can afford (with subsidised rental assistance) because of the stigma attached to being a Public Housing Client. Many Landlords will simply not accept applications from people who are registered on the Public Housing waiting list. It is part of the application process that you either declare you are receiving assistance to pay for the rent you will pay, or, that the Community Housing Organisation you are represented by will make the application. So a Public Housing client cannot hide this on a Private Rental market application. But a landlord can hide their discrimination, because legally, they are not required to state the reason for not accepting an applicant.

That stigma is not only reflected in dealing with Landlords, it is carried over to many other areas.  How do you think "No fixed address" looks on a job application?
Every form you fill in these days asks for a residential address. Medicare, Centrelink, Drs etc all require an address. 

When I experienced homelessness, I had friends who did not believe me.  They thought I was exaggerating, being a drama queen, stretching the truth!

I can assure you, it is hard enough to have to say those words, to admit it to anyone when it is true, why the hell would anyone PRETEND they were homeless? The stigma it brings with it is soul crushing.

So, I ask you all this very day, be more empathic, have some humility, be more considerate of other people's circumstances, consider they may really be having a hard time and need a short term hand up, not a hand out.

My Happy Ending will be when the Public Housing System is a solutions based service which will help people to recover from life's tragedies, not just keep kicking them when they are down.