When I Write

To start this post I probably need to briefly explain why I write … I did write a post about it once before if you wanted to read that, (it was a good post), but the shorter version is that I need to express myself, I need to speak out or clear my mind at times of all that clutters it, sometimes I need to clear my heart.

Since I don't always have people on tap to chat to, I write.

I write when I have something to say (need a rant), I write when I am feeling sad (need to be a crybaby), I write when I am feeling happy (need to gloat) and sometimes, I write because I'm bored. There are other reasons too, for example, every April I blog every day in gratitude.

However, getting back to it, I didn't realise until last week how much I do actually write.

Source

I know, you are saying, "But she doesn't even blog every day!", and I don't, but I do find myself writing my random thoughts down by whatever means I have handy.  I find pieces of paper floating around the house with impulsive scribblings on them, I find notes in my phone that I have written while I've been out and had an epiphany, the thing that surprised me the most though was only a few days ago, when I decided to clear through some of my electronic documents and trash what I was done with, I stumbled upon a document I had written only two months ago … The thing that dumbfounded me was not that it was there, but that I could only vaguely remember writing it.

That seemed very odd because I had written it at a time of obvious emotion and it was a whole page of emotion laid out in black and white.  One thinks we will remember these things.  It seems our minds are much more self protective than we think, not allowing us to remember things that may hurt us or, may no longer be of use once put out there. Who really knows?

This makes a lot of sense though.

So, that really does bring me back to why I am writing today.

I found this note on my phone, it was written 25th October 2012. That was the year I moved my little family from a place of complete familiarity to an area none of us knew.  To a place where we knew nobody.  I was trying my best to make connections, to meet new friends, to form new networks and this is what I wrote …

Don't lie to me or mislead me in an attempt to be kind. You won't make me upset by telling me you don't want to have coffee with me or start a new friendship because you have a busy life already, or you are suffering depression and don't want to socialise, or you can't fit any other people or relationships into your life, or you simply believe we have nothing to offer each other. I am not going to judge your reasons, I will respect them. Do respect me enough to be honest. When you lie to me once, u will need to keep doing that, and when I find out, I will judge you, I will also judge myself. Let's just be honest and not waste each others time or judge each other. Let's respect each other.

I do remember writing this, but I was still surprised I had kept it on my phone, so, I thought I would share it.

There is a good message there for us all …

Let's respect each other.

Landlord Community Call Out

When I started blogging, I had in mind many reason for doing it, none of which included asking for help from my online community.

Yes, I have asked for help in regard to signing petitions, one of which is Chloe's Law an Anti-Bullying Petition being sent to the Australian Senate.  This is something that is very close to my heart.  If you have not signed it I suggest you do that NOW and come back to finish reading this post. I'll wait ...

Image Source Chloe's Law Facebook Page

Nice to see you back.

And I also tried to bring to your attention the plight of an Australian family in Adelaide who had fallen upon tough times as a result of the Dad having suffered a stroke at a very young age. I will provide a link at the end because when you go and like their page on Facebook and see what they have done, you will probably stay there for a while getting familiar with their story and all the good they have since done, and hopefully get involved yourself if you can.  Out of  diversity, they have created something beautiful. It's called the Foxy Foundation.  Go check it out, but do that one later via the link supplied at the end of this post.

So, "Landlord Community Call Out", you are probably wondering what I can do for any Landlords.

Well, here is what I can do ... I can supply them with a reliable and financially reliable, honest, self sufficient, respectable, long term tenant, who will fill their home with love, respect and gratitude. Add to that my charm and wit ... what more could a Landlord want?

All jokes aside, I am a good tenant and I am looking for a long term tenancy for myself and my children. We have had so much upheaval and it is making life very difficult for us particularly around managing anxiety levels for us all, but particularly, LJ.

You may have read my previous posts about our situation, but to shorten all that for you, this is where we are at now. Due to major maintenance issues required in the property we are in (that existed when we moved in), the Landlord has requested "Vacant Possession"of the property to undertake those repairs. The Landlord requires that by 17th January 2014 and as of yesterday was not willing to negotiate on this matter.

Therefore, our situation is becoming URGENT, particularly since over Christmas, the Real Estate Industry all but shuts down and our required date to vacate is about the time they return to work. In real terms, I have about 4 weeks to find another property, hence my decision to blog about it!

I am a tenant who is registered on the Pathways Housing Register, which means Housing NSW and any other Community Housing Organisation are able to provide me with a service that will assist me to find a "suitable" property.

Herein lies the problem. The word "suitable". As you may or may not be aware, my son LJ, who is 11 years old, has Down syndrome.  For any parent reading this who has a child with a disability, you will understand disability impacts every person differently. So even if you have an idea of what Down syndrome actually is, unless you have close and constant contact or interactions with a person with Down syndrome you cannot understand how it impacts their life, or the lives of their families and carers. Let's just say, it adds a whole other dimension (or two). And, even if you have a person in your life who has Down syndrome, they are not MY person who has Down syndrome. Documented evidence of the details of LJ's disability and the implications formed part of our original application to Housing NSW.

Our kids are individuals, as are all kids, all people!

Unfortunately, the person who decides what a suitable property for us is, is not us. And, the person assessing a property that is "suitable" is a person who has never met or known LJ and therefore is unable to look at a property and assess it's suitability with regard to safety and security because they have no knowledge of LJ's ability when it comes to escapism or general seeking out things he should not be touching or playing with because of a level of danger. Another policy that applies to all agencies who could help us is that we are only entitled to two offers of properties and if I deem a property NOT to be suitable, there is a 28 day appeals process that I have to go through to be entitled to have that offer opportunity reinstated so another offer can be made.

Now, I know most parents are thinking, sounds just like my 11 year old ... this is where I might need to link in my previous post which talks more specifically about LJs disability.  Here is the link.  A quick overview though, LJ has an intellectual delay, receptive communication lack, delayed processing time, no idea of stranger danger, no concept of imminent danger to himself or others, the cognitive ability of a 4 - 6 year old in some things and the physical strength and ability and agility of an 11 year old. In short, exhausting. It breaks my heart every time I have to make a list of all the challenging attributes of my beautiful little boy, because he really is that, my beautiful little boy.

LJ is also a gorgeous, empathic, lovable, kind, energetic, funny and absolutely adorable child. He loves dance, sport, "shooting hoops", riding his scooter, playing with friends, watching DVDs, going to the beach, ten pin bowling and all the typical things kids love to do. He is a real social butterfly and because his favourite food of all time is ice cream, he has the energy to be one ALLLL day! LOL

Here is what I need you to do.

Share this post with ANYONE you think may know someone or who is someone or who has contacts and networks or who is in the media or who in any way whatsoever would be able to help me find this:

I need a three bedroom home in the North "ish" Wollongong area. I can consider anywhere from Figtree up as there is transport, buses are available from those areas.  We are currently in Fairy Meadow and the boys both are in Schools nearby. The property needs to have a securely fenced (level as possible) back yard, with minimal debris or obstacles, completely enclosed and preferably fences in excess of five foot with minimum foot holds. We obviously need all the other amenities such as a kitchen, lounge room, bathroom and toilet. An indoor play area would be a huge bonus.

LJ needs to have a backyard to blow off steam, he is a very energetic child and as I am a single Mum, I am not always able to supervise him in the yard, hence the need for such high levels of security and safety. To be able to see the yard from within the home would also be a huge bonus.

So go forth and spread the word.

I can be contacted at slynn0601@gmail.com, I am on Twitter s_lynn4 or you can leave a comment at the end of this post!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, SPREAD THE WORD!!!

I think you all know what my idea of a Happy Ending Would be in this situation, so let's get on with making it happen!

Thank you all, my wonderful online community!

Here is the link for the Foxy Foundation that I promised!

Life Happens

HELLO!!! I am sooooo sorry I have been AWOL.

I don't have a note to explain my blog absence, however, I may be able to shed some light on the matter in this post.

So, grab a cuppa, find a comfy seat and I will fill you in ...

Once April was over and I had blogged every day about what I was grateful for, I must admit, I was a bit blogged out.  It was hard blogging every day. Not so much finding something to blog about, but the time it takes to sit down and put that into words, particularly ones that will keep my readers hanging off the edge of their seat mildly interested. The actual blogging about gratitude however is something I want to continue with once I get myself back on track as it was very therapeutic.

The couple of posts that did follow are an indicator as to where my head was as I wrote about balance in life and a situation around my youngest son LJ and school.

So yes, I have had some challenges with LJ and school. Thankfully he is at a school where the people are so committed to their individual roles and as a team, well, I call them "The Dream Team".  You see I have had much greater challenges with LJ before in relation to school, hence, I moved him when I found the right people for the job.

Sadly, however, having the right people doesn't immediately make for the perfect environment but it does help work towards that.  NSW Department of Education is a big organisation and those who are employed within that Department are required to conform to certain policies, regulations, procedures, guidelines and budgets and although their hearts are in the right place, their values are impeccable and their ideas are at the forefront of Disability Education, they are limited as to what they can ACTUALLY do.

Lets say for now though, we have found a solution that is a great compromise even with all the barriers the Department puts in the way.

MJ has had his fair share of crisis also, although a bit too personal to share here at this time, maybe one day in the future.

What I can share is a little more boring and I am sure most of you can relate to which is, Teenager/Mother communication standards 101. Wow, I thought I knew how to deal with this, after all, I was a teenager once too you know? Lets just say this whole experience has opened my eyes to who I am now.

And then there is the debate surrounding subject selection for HSC and ATAR.  Thank dog MJ has an idea of what he is doing there; I'm lost!

The school holidays are always a test for me too.  Being a single Mum and having two kids that are always presenting me with something to keep me on my toes.  Not having any family support and no access to ongoing respite makes things a bit tedious at times like holidays.

This set of holidays just gone was a little different as I did give the local Vacation Care a try.  Once again, it is about the people you deal with.  While this organisation is a Mainstream provider, they really covered all bases to meet LJs needs.  What a great job.

We agreed on a trial of one half day each week.  LJ does attend before school care with them twice a week for about an hour these days as I now have a very part time job on those days (more about that in another post) so he had become familiar with the staff and it was a great opportunity to build on those relationships.  It was somewhat of a success and therefore gives us a base to build on for the future.

I suppose while I have been in a state of heightened anxiety, finally some of the ground work I have been doing for the last 8 years has brought about some good outcomes more recently too.

I have finally been informed that I have been approved for a Respite Package (given my complete absence of family, extended family, local friends, colleagues or associates) to provide me with any level of support. That also came about finally as a result of having the right conversation with the right person to ensure my case was being given the right level of priority.

Yes, this is all very boring. It is however, my life.

I shall leave it for now and simply mention, this was written in July 2013, so you know, it took me two months to actually hit the publish button.

The reason for that ... well, life happens. :-)

Best Australian Blogs 2013

Once again I find myself blogging about blogging! BUT WAIT, this is REALLY COOL, I have entered my blog in a Competition!

The Competition is run by Australian Writers' Centre and it is called Best Australian Blogs Competition 2013.

I have entered myself in a couple of different categories, which will be judged by people who have experience and knowledge in such "categories".

BUT, for THE PEOPLE, the people who read blogs (or mine anyway), the good news is, there is a "People's Choice Award".

Which means YOU can vote for ME HERE. Or you can click on that great big blue button up there on the left that says "VOTE FOR ME NOW!" It will take no more than a few minutes. Really!

You will need to scroll through to the "M" Blogs and look for My Happy Endings and simply tick the box next to that name.  You will also be required to provide a minimal amount of information about yourself just so the judges know you only voted once!

The winner of The People's Choice Award receives $1000 in writing courses with the Australian Writers' Centre.

The rest of this information is only for those who might be interested beyond my involvement as there is MUCH competition this year with a final number of entries exceeding 1200 blogs I believe.

So keep your fingers crossed for me (except when you are trying to vote for me) and with any luck I could win the above section of the Competition or, even, something from this list below.

For the winning blogger overall, there are quite some rewards that will of course be beneficial in moving forward with said blog and hopefully the next phase of a career, writing books. The prizes are:

$1500 worth of writing courses at the Australian Writers' Centre

$1000 in cash

$500 worth of books from Random House

A one-hour mentoring session with Brandon Van Over, managing editor at Random House, to discuss publishing a book based on their blog or any other writing projects the blogger wishes to discuss.

This year there are five special awards to recognise outstanding posts and emerging bloggers. Each winner will receive $400 worth of on line or face-to-face courses at the Australian Writers' Centre. The Awards are:

Outstanding New Blog: For an exceptional blog that is under six months old. (For posts written after April 2012.)

Outstanding Advocacy Post: For an exceptional post explaining, advocating or fundraising for a cause or issue.

Outstanding Humorous Post: For the funniest post entered in this special award round.

Outstanding Use of Photography: For a post with beautiful photos used well.

Honourable mention: For a blogger who may not have made it to the finalist round but stood out from the crowd. (This is only awarded if there is a blog that fits the bill.)

My Happy Ending here is of course that I do rate somewhere, next of course is the exposure the Australian Blogging Industry will receive and hopefully showcase many fantastic Australian bloggers.

Writing is truly a creative art - putting word to a blank piece of paper and ending up with a full-fledged story rife with character and plot.

William Shatner

Why do we blog?

Well, here I am, blogging about blogging!

I believe it is the cardinal sin of blogging, but I am not an experienced enough blogger to really know the rules, nor am I Catholic.

I suppose the question for me is not really why do we blog so much as why do we share?

Blogging is just another way to put out there those thoughts that spin around in my head all day and DO. NOT. STOP. Much like my talking (which you can find out more about here).

We all have a way of sharing that is most comfortable or convenient for us.

Some chat over coffee with a friend or family member, some email, some write letters to various customer service centres (to compliment or complain), some keep a journal or a diary, some have husbands who listen and sometimes even speak back, some talk with colleagues and in "the olden days" we wrote letters, put them in envelopes, put a stamp on the envelope with an address and popped them in a "letter box". (See image below for those who are unfamiliar).

And of course, there is the telephone to enable you to speak with whomever you so desire anywhere in the world.  We also have Skype and many other VOIP choices these days and well, the iDevices, we now have Face Time!!! What an irony?

Before we had all these devices, that was all we had ... face time, REAL FACE TIME!

Source

While this photo is not exactly indicative of a Letter Box in Australia, I found it a good opportunity to show you all what a Telephone Booth was too! But I digress ...

As humans, we need other humans.  It is really that simple.

A while ago now, I was given a list of "Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship".  In the past I have chosen the wrong people to be a part of my life, and while they have moved on or I have, I am always concerned I will make the same mistakes over again, so I often refer to my list (below for those who may be interested), but one of the Characteristics on the list is:

"You can talk comfortably with each other and you feel listened to".

If you are here reading this, you will know that I am a single parent and my youngest son LJ has Down syndrome.  What you may not know is that I have no source of support.  I have no formal respite package, I have no extended family and, as we moved away from the place that we had lived for 15 years only 1 year ago, I have no local networks, so that does not leave many opportunities to get out and have a chat.

When my kids are home, I have no time for anyone else or when I do, it is too late at night to be phoning people for a bit of a chin wag.

I often have people comment on how late I have sent emails! Oh well ... I still ponder why people check that on an email? They ponder I suppose why I blog .. but I do.

So, I blog and I will keep on blogging.  You may think this a little odd, but I do feel comfortable and I do feel listened to. I receive comments on my blog, and when I post my blog notice on Twitter or Facebook, I often get comments there too or ever a "like".  They are responses, they are interactions and they are my company and my conversations.

Another Characteristic on my list is this:

"You are growing and the relationship is growing".

This, to me, is the most important thing, which I do believe we can do via a blog.

In fact, if I am not doing this, then I am not sure my sharing is what it should be?

My hope for me, my blog and my blog readers is that we can all learn something new everyday, and often, the best way to really learn, is from a different perspective.

Here is my list of Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship. I hope you have these in your lives.

•  You feel respected as a person
• Your physical, emotional and spiritual needs are met
• You are not afraid to be yourself
• Trust, trust, trust is everywhere
• There is a sense of humour and play
• Love is a verb not a noun
• You feel good about yourself
• You can affirm and support each other
• You are appreciated and not taken for granted
• You want to spend time together
• You are growing and the relationship is growing
• You like the other person and you feel liked by the other person
• Privacy is respected
• You can talk comfortably with each other and you feel listened to.

My Happy Ending: Since I started blogging, I have found a whole new community online that I never knew existed. It is full of people who have opinions and are happy to share them, intelligent people, interesting people, people who have experienced some incredible things and most importantly, people I can learn from.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow.

Learn as if you were to live forever."

Mahatma Ghandi

For my wonderful "Laggard" friends.

This post is dedicated to my friends.  No, not another one of these posts no tissues will be required ... unless you would like to laugh yourself silly at us until you cry?

For those of you who were not aware, (i.e., didn't read this post) I am 50 years old, and therefore, many of my friends also spring from that era.

These were some of my friends in the 1970s! Pic from here

However, I have many friends of many ages and so when we are talking "Generations" we might well site the whole alphabet, and Baby boomers too!

Which brings me to the matter at hand.  While I now have my Blog, (which I am always very excited about when I tell people), I have not always been "so Techno", and, by the simple use of that term, you can probably glean that I am still not "so Techno".

When I was growing up, there was no microwave, we barely had colour TV, the toilet was in the back yard and was emptied once a week by a very large smelly man who Dad gave a six pack to every Christmas, (which to my mind is a gross underpayment), the milk came in glass bottles and was left near the letter box in the "milk box" every morning, telephones were so heavy you could hardly pick them up and the "Cordless" had not yet even been invented! As for Mobile???? What the hell is that?

This was our home phone! Which is now referred to as being "Antique". Pic Source

So, it has been no surprise to me to find some of my friends, unlike me, who spends many hours on Facebook, Twitter and, if I have not previously mentioned, HAS MY OWN BLOG, are a little unfamiliar with the idea of a Blog and such "Techno" stuff!

To confuse the issue, me, who has my own Blog, tried to introduce them all to the world of blogging with a few tips on how they could help me "get my Blog off the ground". I had found some great tips on a tutorial that I stumbled upon via a link on Twitter that spells out how to make your Blog look more appealing so to encourage others (who are not your closest friends) to read it and ultimately comment! One method to appeal to an audience, is to have comments on your Blog so it appears that people read it, hence it is interesting ... easy I say!

I sent an email to all my friends that described how they could "follow" my Blog, how they could "subscribe" to my Blog, and how they could "Comment" on my Blog, with all the rules they should follow in diligent commenting and told them why this was all so important! And then, I waited ...

I have now had some notification from a couple of friends that they tried to comment on my Blog but once they had finished some beautifully composed and well thought out literary pieces, they have hit enter, and the whole thing disappeared, hence the lack of comments on my Blog ... I know that feeling, it happens to me when I try to comment on other people's Blogs on my iPhone, ALL. THE. TIME. - SO ANNOYING!

And so, understandably, I have nothing but sympathy for them. My first thought "OMG, my Blog is broken" how the hell am I, "The Techno One", going to fix that? My second thought, "Maybe I could do a TEST COMMENT?" ... and so I did! The result?

So without further ado, here is a quick instructional piece on:

HOW TO LEAVE A COMMENT ON MY BLOG.

1st Read a post or skim over it depending on your level of interest. 2nd At end of post click on the orange link that is "No Comments" or "1 Comment" (may have a different number than 1). 3rd Type your comment in the white box that will appear. 4th Where it says "Comment as" select Anonymous from the drop down box (unless you have another option there that you recognise, depending on your level of "Techno"). 5th Hit "Publish". 6th fill in the little security box thingy with the images you see and again hit go (or whatever it says), then you wait, not there at the computer, you will probably want to log off and check it out next time you think to ... I will then be notified by email that I have a comment to "moderate" and will happily do so, your comment will then appear in all its glory on MY BLOG, in the comments section. The whole process outlined above will make the orange link that may have said "No comments" read as "1 Comment", it will be yours!

Keep in mind, these instructions may only work for my Blog, from my experience, all Blogs are different and I am still learning too have no idea what I am talking about!

So to my "Laggard" friends, I love you all and thank you for your support and I would assume I will find many Anonymous and abusive comments at the end of this post!

The Happy Ending - Today, we have all learnt something!

Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time.

Rabindranath Tagore