Absence - 21st Day of Gratitude

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. And as I type those words it occurs to me how familiar it seems to me, almost like Dejavou.

Having now had a look back, it is because almost a year to the day, I blogged about the exact same thing! And for the same reasons! This was that post if you would like to check it out.

For this year however, I have this post ...

Maybe that is true. But for different people at different times absence can serve many other purposes. 

My eldest child MJ has turned 17 years old. MJ and I recently agreed our relationship is changing as adulthood looms on the horizon. Independence needs to be learnt, responsibilities taken on, consequences truly understood. 

How better to learn those things than to experience situations on our own. 

Source

The first 5 days of the school holidays, spanning the first weekend, MJ spent at a Camp with like minded people, having to take part in all general house keeping; and all campers obviously are responsible for their own personal care. 

MJ was only home one night when the agreement made previously to house sit for friends over Easter was enacted. MJ was solely responsible for a complete house AND one dog plus three puppies. 

We have never had pets of our own. Despite that, MJ has always had an interest in owning a dog. Not sure if that is still an interest. This could be one of those cases where absence makes the heart grow fonder as MJ forgets over time what hard work pets actually are. 

So while I am certain much learning has taken place over the last ten days for MJ, I know I too have learnt something.

I have learnt I am grateful for absence because it truly does make the heart grow fonder.

Absence - 22nd Day of Gratitude

It is said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I am assuming that is only when there is some fondness in a relationship to begin with?

Or does it mean that when a really annoying person who we are not very fond of goes away, by some miracle of delusion, that we start to think they are nice and that we wouldn't mind spending time with them? That we forget?

Sorry that is not my point, simply a random thought I was unable to let go of. Moving on ...

The reason this has come to mind today about the heart growing fonder and there already being some fondness is because my big boy (MJ) is with friends tonight.

MJ went off and met up with his friend in town this morning and they had a lovely day out (that will be discussed in detail in another post at another time) and then he went for dinner and a sleep over. I shall collect him and indulge in morning tea tomorrow. So a win/win.

Yes, it is true, I have missed him even though the school holidays had meant I was begging him to go somewhere ... ANYWHERE!!!

Strangely enough though, when one of my kids goes away or I go out for a day with only one of them, two things happen.

1st - I miss the child I am not with and "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".
2nd - I grow fonder of the child I am with!

The dynamics shift completely. There is no vying for attention, there is no need to prioritise my limited time, there is no need to referee them and there is no need to not just sit and listen or play or be there in their presence.

I so enjoy being able to give my kids one-on-one time, but to do that I must also experience a period of absence.

Today I am grateful for absence.