Grateful In April 2014 - 1st Day of Gratitude

It's that time of year again! Yes, it's April! Which means it's time for ....

GRATEFUL IN APRIL 

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This time last year, I wrote this post about how grateful I was for my Education.

I sited my Happy Ending to be that I would return to study this year with the hope to go to University.

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I am very happy to report that I have returned to study. I am also very happy to report that I have learnt to bring some balance to my life.

Therefore, I am at TAFE.  I am studying Certificate IV in Community Service Work.

I am very happy with the course itself, I am enjoying the subjects and the people,  I am enjoying having contact with like minded people, I am enjoying once again being a person in my own right.

I go to TAFE and I am me. I am not Mum, I am not a Carer, I am not anyone's sounding board, I am not there for anyone else but me.  And I am loving it!

The balance I talk about is that I was sensible enough to have not taken on too much.

Yin and Yang

I realise how I would not have enjoyed the course as much if it were causing enough stress in my life that it had become unpleasant, I also understand I would have been setting myself up for failure had I taken on too much.

These may seem like simple, sensible things that you would imagine most people to just "get", but when you have a mental illness and your life is in turmoil and your default is to make decisions on the run, these new actions are real achievements. And let me tell you, it feels good to be able to look at what I have done, and the decisions I have made, and actually be really proud of myself.

So, this year, I am once again grateful for my Education, but I am also very grateful for my ability to learn. Two very different things.

The Happy Ending will be when I graduate from my course at the end of this year!!!

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams

What is balance?

Hello to all of you out there in the land of the Internet!

This is probably the first time I have sat down to write a blog post with no actual idea of what I was going to say!

So why not see where this journey takes us ...

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I've been cruising along since April and cannot for the life of me understand where May has gone!

I think I'm doing well, a few things have changed positively in my life, including securing myself some part time work in an area that is so satisfying for me, it could not have been more perfect an opportunity!

The kids are doing well, MJ is getting ready at School for what is a pretty busy performance season with dance and also a busy study time. He will also start singing lessons again soon having researched and found a suitable tutor locally.

LJ has started swimming lessons, yes, I know ... What was I thinking starting swimming lessons just before winter? He is also enjoying his dancing after School and at School and will continue with Basketball until the end of this term.

I, on the other hand am simply enjoying that little bit of organisation that comes about as a result of having a job to go to!

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I cannot believe that the old saying "If you need something done, give it to a busy person!" is actually true! However, it makes sense really, when we have time to spare, we tend to be more relaxed about planning, when every minute counts, you make them count!

So for me, I have celebrated some real achievements lately, not because I have done anything more than is required of me, nor anything extraordinary, but just because I have done exactly what is required of me! Without adding to that list.

I have also realised, that over the years, I have spent too much time setting unrealistic expectations of myself.

These days, I am happy when I get done what I need to and have time for things I don't need to do. And that, is a huge achievement!

My Happy Ending will be when I truly feel I have achieved that balance we all talk about.

One thing I do know though, the scales are easier to balance when they are not overloaded.

Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself.

Jessye Norman

How do you find balance? What IS balance for you? Do you set the bar too high?

The Simple Life - 17th Day of Gratitude

After such an emotional day yesterday, I really focused on enjoying our happy home today.

Sure, the usual boring stuff was in need of attention, as was some planning and a trip to the shops, but even the mundane was approached with a much improved attitude today.

I watched out the kitchen window at one point while the boys played and tormented each other with a game of one-on-one Basketball.

I spent that extra time conversing with MJ and took LJ happily with me to the shops. No stress or time restraints meant a happy and enjoyable jaunt. We read books today with no attitude of learning, just enjoyment.