When I Write

To start this post I probably need to briefly explain why I write … I did write a post about it once before if you wanted to read that, (it was a good post), but the shorter version is that I need to express myself, I need to speak out or clear my mind at times of all that clutters it, sometimes I need to clear my heart.

Since I don't always have people on tap to chat to, I write.

I write when I have something to say (need a rant), I write when I am feeling sad (need to be a crybaby), I write when I am feeling happy (need to gloat) and sometimes, I write because I'm bored. There are other reasons too, for example, every April I blog every day in gratitude.

However, getting back to it, I didn't realise until last week how much I do actually write.

Source

I know, you are saying, "But she doesn't even blog every day!", and I don't, but I do find myself writing my random thoughts down by whatever means I have handy.  I find pieces of paper floating around the house with impulsive scribblings on them, I find notes in my phone that I have written while I've been out and had an epiphany, the thing that surprised me the most though was only a few days ago, when I decided to clear through some of my electronic documents and trash what I was done with, I stumbled upon a document I had written only two months ago … The thing that dumbfounded me was not that it was there, but that I could only vaguely remember writing it.

That seemed very odd because I had written it at a time of obvious emotion and it was a whole page of emotion laid out in black and white.  One thinks we will remember these things.  It seems our minds are much more self protective than we think, not allowing us to remember things that may hurt us or, may no longer be of use once put out there. Who really knows?

This makes a lot of sense though.

So, that really does bring me back to why I am writing today.

I found this note on my phone, it was written 25th October 2012. That was the year I moved my little family from a place of complete familiarity to an area none of us knew.  To a place where we knew nobody.  I was trying my best to make connections, to meet new friends, to form new networks and this is what I wrote …

Don't lie to me or mislead me in an attempt to be kind. You won't make me upset by telling me you don't want to have coffee with me or start a new friendship because you have a busy life already, or you are suffering depression and don't want to socialise, or you can't fit any other people or relationships into your life, or you simply believe we have nothing to offer each other. I am not going to judge your reasons, I will respect them. Do respect me enough to be honest. When you lie to me once, u will need to keep doing that, and when I find out, I will judge you, I will also judge myself. Let's just be honest and not waste each others time or judge each other. Let's respect each other.

I do remember writing this, but I was still surprised I had kept it on my phone, so, I thought I would share it.

There is a good message there for us all …

Let's respect each other.

Political Correctness or is it simply Respect?

I was born in the 1960s, a time when "You called a spade a spade" a time when a slap on the back and a good "wog joke" went a long way! (Even with the wogs.) By the way, my Mother told me WOG stood for Worthy Oriental Gentleman, so, at the time, I never realised it was a derogatory term!

When I left school and moved on into the "real world", I quickly became aware of other cultures, peoples sexual identities, their religions, their abilities and I became aware of the ever growing awareness that was soon to be called "Political Correctness".

I had previously been exposed to how hurtful it was to be intentionally described in a way that was meant to harm, you see, I was the chubby kid, so I understood this outcry for equality, for respect.

Now, I am a Mother. I am a Mother of two sons, one has Down syndrome and the other is Gay.  What I did not know before about being Politically Correct, I now know about in terms of respect, inclusion and equality.

My sons, my neighbours, my Chemist, the girl at Woolworths, the Mechanic up the road ... all have one thing in common; they are all Human Beings. The fact that they have those roles in life or the fact that they may have Blue or Brown eyes makes no difference, they are entitled to fair and equitable treatment which also includes referring to them or addressing them in a respectful and appropriate manner.

My son who has Down syndrome is not "A kid with Down syndrome" nor is he "A Downsie", not even "The Boy with Downs" and most certainly not "A Down's child" he is "LJ" who also happens to have Down syndrome. 

We can drill down one step further than that and talk about awareness when it comes to people who have disabilities or conditions of health etc., we can take enough of an interest in them and the issues that impact their daily lives, by getting their diagnosis right too.

To spread awareness, we first must know what we are talking about and today my friends I am here to tell you, my son has Down syndrome NOT Downs NOR Down's syndrome. Medically know as Trisomy 21, often referred to as T21.

So if you feel the need to identify a person by their, height, their weight, their IQ, then just remember this one thing, we are all People before any of our characteristics ... It will sound something like this ..."Wow have you read that great blog post written by Sandra, the person who writes great posts!" Well, maybe one day ... The Happy Ending is of course, that we all get it right!

How do you show your respect for others?