And so, as another year is closing in around us, we do the yearly Post Mortem ... "Where did this year go?", "I feel like nothing has changed", "So many things that I could have done", "Oh well, there's always next year" etc.
Christmas has now become the focus for most, shopping, planning food, planning visits, planning more food! And while all this is not far from my mind, I have been pondering something else, something much more meaningful to me.
A friend of mine said to me a few weeks ago: "I'll bet after the crap year you have had, that you will be glad to see the end of 2012?"
It made me realise that, she could have been more subtle AND as a family, we have endured quite a bit.
However, this year has taught us many lessons, it has made me look into myself and see things I firstly did not know were there, and secondly, didn't want to know were there. But I have looked those things in the eye and dealt with many of them, some I am still working on and some, well, they may be ongoing projects.
I have also seen myself do things that I never thought I would have to, but I stepped up to the plate and did them anyway ... because I had to, because there is only me to advocate for my kids, and I have brought about some very Happy Endings. Yes, it was hard, but it was worth it. I have two wonderful children who are now both happy and comfortable in their environments and have the courage and confidence to live their lives knowing who they are and that they are valued.
I have also realised while thinking about her comment again and again, that it seems like it has been a very long time since I have not been sorry to see the back of any year.
So, I have decided, 2013 is going to be THAT year!
The one I will be sorry to see end. The one where, when midnight 31st December 2013 rocks around, I will by crying tears of joy as I try to hold on with all my might to the year that was the best we have experienced in a very long time. I will be looking around gratefully for all that I have and all that I have achieved. I will be hugging my children with pride and being more thankful than I have ever been in my entire life, because I will know, that I can do it, that I can achieve anything I need to. All I will have to do is look back on this year and many before to know, that I have what it takes.
What will you be doing at midnight 31st December 2013?