Circle of Support - 4th Day of Gratitude

It has taken time, effort, learning, understanding, teaching, empathy and most of all reaching out, but I am well on the road to ensuring we as a family, have in place a well rounded network of support.

I do prefer to call it a Circle, because if I placed all those people in a circle, they would all be looking in.  Not only to us, but to each other; which is how a Circle Of Support should work, together.

Sacred Circle of Support

In the early days it was the struggle of finding the right supports for the boys while finding just the minimum for myself.  More recently however, I have found support in the form of friends, community, funded programs and Educational environments for myself.

2 years ago I would never have thought it possible to find support via any organisation even remotely associated with Education, and while I still find a needle in the haystack every so often, for the most, I have found gold at the end of the rainbow.

Gold at the end of a Rainbow

I have friends who have supported me in ways I have never experienced before and as a result, I hope I too have learnt and grown to become a better friend in return.

I want to take the time today to express my gratitude to those who have been there for me and allowed me to learn to be myself, those who have listened and heard me, those who've allowed me to make mistakes and to correct them and to put into practise the life lessons it has taken me so long to learn (and are still learning) and to be able to do that in a safe place.

I'm by no means perfect, but I am getting better thanks to the support I feel.

Today, I am grateful for my Circle Of Support xo

“Even the smallest act of caring for another person is like a drop of water, it will make ripples throughout the entire pond...” Jessy and Bryan Matteo

Loneliness is the killer

Trigger warnings: Suicide, Depression, Anxiety, Euthanasia, Family, Support, Mental Health

I wasn't going to buy into the current conversations about Depression that are all over Main Stream Media, Facebook, Twitter and I am sure, every other social media available to people.

But as a person who is suffering from Depression (no, not living with it), I can't stand the assumptions people make.

I will say right now, that my reality and what I see as fact may also appear to be assumptions for other people who are suffering from Depression or Living with it or, anywhere in the middle of those two extremes. Everyones journey is different.

I will also say I do not try to speak for, nor did I ever know this celebrity personally. This is just my perspective.

With the sad occurrence of a very well known personality having taken her life and that being attributed to her struggle with Depression, it makes me angry to hear the follow on statements like ... "So many people loved her" "If only she could see this outpouring of love" "I hope her beautiful soul is now at peace".

Where were all these people who love her? You never hear reports of people suiciding surrounded by all their friends and loved ones. (Excepting Euthanasia, although this, may not be that different.)

People suicide alone, because that is how they feel in that moment ... completely and utterly alone and hopeless.

This woman had a very active life, very involved in Social Media, Mainstream Media, Campaigns, Charity Events etc., etc.  She was a woman who gave so much of her time to others. And that is what kept her alive .... the time she spent with others.

It is the looking for happiness outside of oneself that keeps you involved in life and avoids the thoughts of suicide. And yet, it is a terrible addiction the need for love.

It is, when you are left to your own devices, that the symptoms of Depression start to creep in.

We don't need Social Media Trolls to make us feel bad about ourselves, we don't need to be confronted by other people to disagree with us about our values or principles to feel bad about ourselves, we certainly don't need to be excluded from social events or forgotten by friends who have had enough of our "Depression" to make us feel bad about ourselves ... NO, we can do all that for ourselves, that IS Depression.

When looking for a list of symptoms of Depression to post here, I found this site and the list they display:

Beyond Blue.

The only trouble is that they do not put enough emphasis on the "Thoughts" part of this.

Anyone can put on a good front, I'm sure our beautiful celebrity had done this on many, many occasions as she presented herself in public. You see, when you suffer from or live with Depression, you know that there is a time and place for everything. Imagine breaking down in tears on the red carpet, a person would be 'committed'.

People really don't  want to see your suffering, they are happy to know you have Depression, but they really don't want to understand it too well for fear they may have to get more involved in your life. Keep in mind also, not everyone has the family and personal relationships needed to sustain a life lived with Depression.

People don't want to be your therapist, they get sick of bolstering you over and over, and in the end treat you like a bit of a drama queen, eventually withdrawing from your life. People have their own lives, their own concerns, it takes a very serious friend or relationship to sustain the support a person with Depression really needs to help them to get to a place where they can "live with" their Depression, because it never is gone. And it takes many of those relationships.

If it were a physical illness and friends could simply wipe your brow, give you a pill, feed or hydrate you, it would be easy, because they can walk away after that.

You can't walk away from a person with Depression and assume they will take your advice, or they will look after themselves, or they are OK now ... Depression is a darkness, and left to feed on loneliness, it will kill.

Is this the face of Depression?

Take it from me ... YES, it is ...

Sourced from Twitter

Rest In Peace 

Footnote: If you have Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal thoughts or any other Mental Health Issue, be sure to seek ample professional support.

Women - 20th Day of Gratitude

I have known many women in my life, the first I suppose was my Mother, who is sadly no longer with us. Sadly, because I am sure we would actually be great company for each other these days; now that I have grown to become a woman and I understand her more.

You see, when I was growing up, we just did not get on, in fact, far beyond my growing up.

Mum suffered from Depression.  I know that is something these days which is fairly common, but in the 1960's, 70s, 80s and even 90s, Mental Illness was not considered an illness at all. Ironically people would say "Its all in your head." (duh) Psychology wasn't really understood. Nor was anxiety and depression.

Those were times when you would simply be put in a corner or locked in an institution or treated like an outcast and for all time then after considered to have "gone mad", never to be accepted as a part of civilised society again.

Anti Depressants for what they were worth, were more like a sedative, doing nothing to help a person function again and in fact making the problem much worse particularly in a social sense.

It was her Depression that made our relationship so difficult for the most part, I found her unreliable, inconsistent, unable to function when I needed her and then ... I hit puberty.

Too late then for us to reconcile, and so all those lessons of character I had learnt, became a part of my own life and I rebelled.

Before my Mother became seriously ill, she was an intelligent capable woman, I do remember some of that. We saw snippets of it through those years too as she fought what I now know must have been a hell of a fight to be well.

I know she was Queen of Trivial Pursuit. We would all refuse to play, as no game is all that fun when you know who is going to win! But I believe that talent also rubbed off a bit; I often surprise myself with the things that just seem to come to mind.

Thankfully, although I don't have my Mother, there are other women who have come into my life over time. Women I can spend hours chatting with, covering many topics, laughing at our own jokes, recounting embarrassing stories from years gone by and even shedding a tear or two.

These are women who when I posted this blog post about my feeling unwell, made contact with me offering soup, supplements, advice and comfort and just about anything else I might have needed.

These are the women who have helped me to heal, who have filled that hole in my life where a Mother is not, and who give me the strength and courage each day to just keep moving forward.  These are the women who care.

We all have these women in our lives, they come in many shapes and forms; and to many, we are those women. In reading this post, I hope it inspires you to recognise those women in your life and have a moment of real gratitude for the wonder of who they are.

Today, I am grateful for women, my women.